pirates

Pirates

The Ugly Pirate

On Sunday, I met a pirate,
He really was quite mean.
The look of his face,
And his greasy embrace,
It made my face turn green!

He had an ugly patch on his eye,
And also a stick for a leg.
His breath was foul,
So I gave a howl,
‘Coz it smelt like rotten egg!

He had never ever washed himself,
So he really stank something awful,
He picked his nose,
Then licked his toes,
His toenails were unlawful!

He’d never shaved his armpits,
So they were astonishingly hairy,
The smell of rotten meat,
Was the smell of his feet,
And his armpits smelt even more scary!

His t-shirt was yucky and hairy,
And rolls of fat were easily seen,
He had loads of pimples,
And fatty dimples,
He was everything farthest from clean!

He looked like a really ugly monster,
Like something scary from the telly,
Like a deformed pig,
Who somehow turned big,
Even his fingers were smelly!

He was the ugliest thing I had ever seen,
And weighed about as much as a tank,
He came to my house and gave me a stare,
So I knocked him flat on his back with a chair…
OOPS! THAT WAS MY UNCLE FRANK!